Time to realize…….

I am mighty.  I am strong.  I can do it all by myself!  Ummmmmm……pause…..think.  No, Tammy you can’t!!

lol okay so this is how most of us think when we are entrepreneurs, that we can do it all, we don’t need help.  Mostly we think this because we believe that we can’t afford to hire people to help us.  This was me for the last 5 years.  BUT NOT ANYMORE!!

I am here to tell you that you have to seriously look at this.  You have to understand what your strengths and weaknesses are and determine how it is affecting your business and you on a personal level.

I cram my weeks, Monday to Friday, with as much work as I can so that I can take weekends off.  However, sometimes I was working non-stop all day and into the late evenings, just to keep on top of things.  We find it hard to say “no” (which is something I have been working on as well) and we continue to take on more, more and more!!

Do you know how this is ultimately going to affect your business?  Do you realize that you open yourself up to burnout?  That you may want to just run away and give up on everything because you don’t believe you can ever reach your goals?

I recently hired a VA who helps me with different elements (like updating my website, adding captions to my YouTube videos) and I hired my daughter to help with some of my social media work.  WOW, all I can say, is what a difference it has made for me (and it has only been a couple of weeks).  I can now focus on what I am truly good at, can focus on building more relationships, taking on more clients, providing valuable information.  I can breathe, I can relax, I can reduce the hours into the evenings, I can eliminate the frustration.  AND guess what?  I do have the money BECAUSE when you hire others to help, you can bring in additional income from focusing on building the business, the clients.

So take some time, make a list of all the elements that make up what you do in your business and determine where you can hire someone to help.  AND just breathe……

GUEST BLOGGER: Turn Rejection Into Reflection to Get What You Want.

Thank you to Laurie Hunt for opening up and sharing her thoughts, as well as giving up some tips on how we can deal with rejection.

A couple weeks ago I received a ‘rejection’ notification email. I had applied to an organization with which I felt a great deal of alignment of purpose, values and what they were trying to accomplish. Truthfully, I felt that I was natural fit. That all my varied experience in organizational development, leadership, non-profit consulting, athletics, mentoring and coaching meant I was ideally suited to set up a local branch of this U.S. based non-profit that is looking to expand globally.

After evaluating the opportunity carefully and deciding that I wanted to be a part of the organization, I submitted my application. I was quickly granted a video interview the following day with two senior staff of the organization. I was right! They had to be very interested in me to respond so quickly.

After the interview was complete, I felt depleted rather than excited. From my end, I thought I handled the interview well, responding to their questions thoughtfully and with enthusiasm. Yet something felt off. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was that caused my energy to drain. Then, just as quickly as they scheduled the interview, I received my rejection email the next day.

My immediate reaction was huge disappointment. Part of me was very surprised and another part of me wasn’t because of the impact the interview had on me. They said my way of doing things didn’t align with theirs and that some of my projects wouldn’t fit with setting up a branch for them. They must have misunderstood who I am and how I do things! I quickly typed up a response clarifying my perspective and asking them to reconsider.

Then I went for a run. It was a big decision on my part to apply in the first place and their rejection caused me to feel off balance. Getting outside and moving always helps me find a fresh perspective on a situation, especially troubling ones.

The conversation I had with myself went something like this:

Laurie: OK. Well that wasn’t the result I expected. However, since I believe things work out the way they are meant to, what’s the reason for this rejection?

Inner Self: You felt a disconnect between who they said they were and how they treated you in the interview. They said they are creating a warm, friendly, non-competitive environment and yet they were cool and formal in the interview. It wasn’t a conversation. It felt more like an interrogation. Well not quite that severe, but similar. Who they were being doesn’t actually align with what’s important to YOU.

Laurie: Well, yes. That’s true. My comment after the interview was ‘that was strange’. After my many years of experience in HR and interviewing, that was not a best practice interview by any means.

Inner Self: You also have said that your More-In-Me Movement is important to you. You are launching soon and if you were accepted by this organization, your focus would be on creating that entity and not your own work. You have been so excited to bring all your skills, experience and passion to your More-In-Me Movement.

Laurie: That’s true too. It seems that this rejection is a good thing. Reminds me of my tendency to help others and put their initiatives and businesses ahead of my own. LOL. Saying no was the best possible outcome for what really matters to me and where I want to focus my time and energy.

My learning from the reflection resulting from the rejection is invaluable and will serve as a reminder in the future to say no when other ‘shiny things’ show up to distract me from what I say is most important to me.

It took a week for them to reply the second time and say they were not changing their minds. By then I had firmly decided that I did not want to work for them. I had wondered how I would say no if they came back and said yes. But I didn’t have to. Things have a way of working themselves out when we trust in the unfolding and stay true to ourselves.

Here are three suggestions for dealing with rejection:

  1. Turn rejection into reflection. What did you learn from the experience? Ask, what else? What’s possible that wouldn’t have been if you were accepted? What do you really want?
  2. Do your best and accept the outcome in the end. You may not be happy with the result, however, dwelling on it won’t serve you. Ask yourself, what would you do differently next time? Did you do your best? What other options are out there? There are always more options.
  3. Most importantly, don’t take it personally. Rejection isn’t about who you are. It’s about what they want and their perception of how well your skills, experience, and approach fit with theirs. If they don’t see a fit, then it’s not likely the right opportunity for you. After all, they know their organization or situation best. And it means there is something else out there that is going to be just right for you. You get to choose too. It’s never just a one-way street although it sometimes can feel that way. You get to evaluate how well they fit with what’s important to you. Turn rejection info reflection and trust your instincts. Be a possibilitarian and see what else is available for you to discover. There’s more for you out there.

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Laurie Hunt believes everyone has more in them. Calling herself a possibilitarian and system disrupter, Laurie works with clients to discover their ‘more-in-me’ by seeing new possibilities and disrupting the habits and patterns that may get in the way. Laurie recently launched The More-In-Me Movement. It’s a movement because she wants to get people moving – literally- towards what they say they want in life, work and family. 

GUEST BLOGGER: Not everyone will want you to SUCCEED By Vanessa Dewsbury

We all hope for support and encouragement from our friends and family when we venture off on a journey of turning our dreams into reality, but the unfortunate truth is, not everyone will want you to succeed…and why is that?

There are some people who are triggered by the success of others because it makes them question their own life.  When someone sees you where they want to be or where they think they “should be,” it can create feelings of jealousy and resentment, and some people operate in competitive or comparative mode.  They either view you as competition so they are not supportive of your success or they compare themselves to others and if they perceive you are “doing better” than they are, they lack offering you any kind of encouragement.  And some of your friends or family don’t want you to succeed because they fear you may drastically change and leave them behind.

You may even find and have personally experienced someone trying to taint your character and reputation to others.  They talk bad about you behind your back in hopes that others will view you in a negative light.  However, usually in that situation it only makes the person who spoke badly of you, look bad.

Entrepreneurs are naturally driven, creative, rebellious and they tend to not like to follow the rules, or the crowds and this can actually be very off-putting for some.  If one is conditioned to believe that you have to do things by the book, then they will have a hard time accepting your choices and may view you as doing it all ‘wrong.’

But the thing is, we are all on our own journey of truth, growth, self development, and most everyone desires successful relationships, careers, health and so on but not everyone will arrive there at the same time.  We are all on different parts of the path just trying to do the best we can and maybe we will all arrive to where we want to be or maybe not all of us will.

How do you find you respond when you hear about the success of others?  Do you feel happy for them, do you encourage and congratulate them or do you feel resentful, jealous or hostile?

If you find your reaction is negative in nature, ask yourself why you’re feeling this way, explore your thoughts because deep down, they have nothing really to do with the other person, your reaction is coming from a place that might need a little bit of self reflection and healing.   And that’s okay, acknowledging and taking responsibility for your feelings can be the key to your own success.  If you find you are having difficulties in certain areas of your life, reach out and ask for help from others, surround yourself with the people you want to be like and most importantly, believe and trust in yourself that you can too achieve the success you desire.

If you are someone who praises, supports and gets excited when others succeed, then good for you, keep doing what you’re doing.

At the end of day we aren’t here to please others, we are here to enjoy, explore, create and live a life of happiness and bliss, and we are all worthy of that.  Don’t let the jealousy or non-approval of others deter you off your path, just keep moving, keep creating and keep believing in yourself, and in your dreams.

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

Steve Jobs

 

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Vanessa Dewsbury
Facebook:  Soul Alive Barrie